#1 highly recommended

This is such a tacky thing to do it’s a shame to recommend it. But it is so efficient. Don’t try to do it though if you lack this bit of spirituality and romanticism, it won’t work.

Whenever you feel sad or stressed or down or depressed or unsettled or distraught. Whenever you feel all of it at once. Open the windows, as many as possible. Choose the one with the furthest view that can give you some perspective. Stand and stare. Feel the ambience of outdoors. Optionally, close your eyes for a while (this is the tackier alternative).

No matter it is humid, cold, warm or windy, get the best of all these. Think if what really made you feel so unbelievably bad constitutes the big or small part of the life you can now see in the street or forest or the block of flats in front of your window. Find a context and evaluate the relevance of your anxiety.

Then withdraw, close the windows. Go back to your life. Hopefully, you feel better now. Better does not mean perfect. Better means improvement. Improvement that should be the final objective. 

erwin, you were ahead of your times

He was ahead of his times. He knew it all before Juergen Teller or Terry Richardson. He was one of a kind. Yeah, you were so cool, Erwin Blumenfeld.

His pictures are sheer understanding of two factors that apply to contemporary fashion scene: beauty and commerciality. Everything full of taste and ingenuity, originality and spark, charm and longevity. It could be Vogue, it could be Harper’s Bazaar, it could be a portrait of Cecil Beaton. It could be fashion or advertisement. I just admire those who can grasp it all.

Enter google images and find more commercial pieces of his work. Look further to see his depth, type in a specific term like ’cigarette’ or ‘lighting’ to decipher his vision. There is something continuous and consistent about his work, but they are so perfectly adjusted to the circumstances or publication. Because fashion is full of specification. Model can easily get ascribed to a certain canon, designer to a defined style. Once you avoid that, you can have it all.

Erwin got away from any label, at least that was my first thought while seeing his exhibition at Somerset House. It’s still there, Blumenfeld’s private world of art for free. 

It is like walking into his mind and examining thought by thought. Nothing is more pleasant than such an intimate insight into fashion.

my summer will be great, amazing, exquisite

This summer promises me something special. Loads of fashion experience. I could never ask for any better.

It’s time to leave wintery, reflexive mood and kindly accept what summer holds for me. And it holds a lot. Just next week I’ll start my job at the vintage shop in Camden. So exciting and so intimidating at the same time. Though my feelings for fashion are pure and vintage lays in my interest, there is always this unsettling thought ‘can I handle it?’ Well, probably putting clothes on the hangers is not as challenging as my dramatic question may suggest, but I want to derive from this experience and I want to give as much from myself as it is feasible. My egoistic and altruistic features clash. I hope they will be reconciled. 

But I'm not finished, it's not just it. With first summery days of June my internship for the fashion PR agency will start. For three long months. It is almost same excitement as for the vintage job (and this is not because the agency is located minute walk from Oxford Circus on the attic of an exquisite tenement house). It is even bigger fear. I want to show I am passionate, I want to show this is what I am destined to do. I want to merge with fashion at last. 

Probably more is yet to come. And with more I think of all these unexpected turns and tasks that await. Whatever  comes up, I impatiently look forward it. This summer is also my chance to fall in love with London. Blindly and deeply,With all its events and bright evening. With all its nature and concrete.

I want all these good and tough things to start and last and never to end. 

warsaw

Hi Warsaw,

I’m leaving you because I have to and because I want to. You are such a sad place for me. I struggled to think the other way. I can’t. I’m sorry.

You’re the contrast. The contrast of new and the old. The contrast of people who get on the tube with their iphones and those without a ticket. I don’t know where all of them come from, but they’re so different. It’s confusing, because you I’ve never been sure if I fit in here.

And when I walked down your streets I felt nothing is working. A Louis Vuitton shop next to KFC. Another contrast emerged. I could not make up my mind.

And although your culture is great, theatres, cinemas I’ve been to, I feel it’s the only thing that can be your defense. You seem to keep searching for your identity still. There are foreigners that come here for cheap fun. There are locals that seem so posh and confident although the only place they gather is French hip bar Charlotte.

I’m not coming back in the imminent future. But I will one day. To see how I feel after a break. After you change. After I change.

Take care,

X

people stare while i explore

Probably all of us experience that moment when people stare. They stare because they have a bad day or crave to seem more respectable than they really are, but sometimes they simply look because of your clothes. Maybe even style.

Instantly you can notice the reason. And the more confident you look, the more probable option is the vain one – you’re being admired. Why it happens? It is rather obvious your daily, no matter how cool outfit, will not revolutionize the fashion industry. But there is this one amazing explanation - so simple and so true.

Those who look, they constantly aspire. But to no avail. It is not the case of a low budget – it is just that some people can pull it off while others struggle but never reach this wonderful moment of self-acceptance stemming from the confidence that what you’re wearing is right. Such moments are indispensable in fact. How amazing it feels not to lose all your gut once you finally hit the street after a one minute walk from your flat’s door, where normally you’re already starting to feel desperate with your fashion choices.

People look and admire when you don’t need any assertions. When you can define own style. When you’re consistent. It is tough to achieve, but once this day comes you feel like you’ve fully explored another part of yourself. The fashion part.

the future

Before you read this post, play this song. Then start. Then do whatever.

I often picture my life as one that will be happy. When I think of the future I don’t see anything sad or unsettling. But the paradox here is, I am not an optimist at all. I’m just starting to see things I want.

Fashion is always an intrinsic part of how I conjure up my life. I will be doing something grasping, engaging and exciting. Maybe some PR, maybe some writing. Yes, I feel like sitting at the white wooden desk and writing with windows open and Kurt Vile songs.  

I have a hunch that  in the remote future, once I learn a lot, once I get smarter, I will write a  book about some unidentifiable thing. No idea – a slushy novel or some pseudo-existential diary. Whatever it may be, it is a thought I like it and the thought I’m afraid of.

I always think I will have enough money to pay for a nice flat with stacks of COS clothes and Juergen Teller & Corinne Day albums. If my book turns out a bestseller (how probable is that!), then it will happen. In the unlikely case it won’t, there will be two options for my pathetic self: to leave fashion dreams and change occupation or to commit a dramatic suicide. It actually sounds good, cause once I do that, a spiritual stranger somewhere out there may actually discover my extraordinary talent and the book will become a bestseller. Well, this is an amazing plan B for now.

But seriously, my hopes for making my future the right one, the best one are high. Don’t know what the chances are, don’t know how my ‘fate’ is destined to become . I know so little, my wishes are big.

See, how naïve I am. How funny to be like that. How bad would it be to get disappointed at some point in life. How great to keep waiting. It is all about waiting, isn’t it?

it's vintage, baby

My wardrobe does not brim with vintage pieces. For two reasons. Because my style is not exactly what would fall into vintage definition. Because what I appreciate about clothes is simplicity and minimalistic approach so hard to find in vintage clothing.

But my attitude towards all these vintage lovers is full of admiration and respect rather than indifference. Well, vintage is a tough cookie. It requires the awareness of what you’re wearing and how you make it work. It requires an eye for quality to avoid looking like an old-fashioned, sloppy type. It requires passion and understanding of the past.

Vintage can be even tougher, if you want to make it contemporary. How to mix things up without ending up  with a grotesque look? Where lays the desirable link between timelessness and modernity? As you probably notice, these are rhetorical question, which mean I will not be able to give you an answer.

That is why I love all these people taking the vintage challenge. And by vintage I do not constrain it to Rokit or Beyond Retro basement shops.  What I have in my mind are these tireless Brick Lane or second-hand outlets’ raiders, capable of spotting a truly amazing piece in a stack of Marks&Spencer oversized tees and unbranded, creepy men’s shirts.

Now, I truly want to know more about vintage. Not to transform my personal style which I’m eventually getting satisfied with (hurray), but to be able to talk about it and talk wisely.  I’m just at the mere start of exploring its world, but I bet it is worth it. Fashion is always worth it. Well, learning is always worth it. How wise that sounds?

spring come she will

Screw fashion for a while, let’s get some spring vibe. Well, although there’s no even slight sign of spring apart from London’s occasional sun, it’s kind of essential to get warm with some hot stuff. That’s what on the top of my ‘listen-to-survive’ list.

Simon & Garfunkel 'April Come She Will' (remix)

Isaac Hayes 'Hung Up On Me Baby'



Sonny & The Sunsets 'Dark Corners'



Freedom Fry 'With the New Crowd'



Thieves Like Us 'Forget Me Not'
 

'fashion is not as cool as you think, girl' wtf

A styling course seemed like a great idea. It turned out fine. It made me aware of what fashion can be.

Preparing a shoot? Sounds amazing. And it is. Grabbing around for clothes and making them work, pushing own boundaries, leaving your safety-zone and taking fashion risks was what I needed. I may not have pulled it all off. I may not have revolutionized the styling industry yet. But the only aspect that made this course a tough one was to observe that the average fashion industry persona is not a happy one.

I thought it is all too inspiring to grasp – styling, moodboard preparation, visiting PRs, writing. But whenever some speaker came to the session, he made me feel sad. The photographer on the shoot was sad. The model was sad. The studio was sad. No one felt any spark or excitement for this small fashion project. Everyone living it as a routine task, because that’s probably what this really was.

Anytime someone says fashion, I do not conjure up anything dull. I see great things, great ideas, great sources. But it turns out it’s hard to get them, so you can end up as a poor stylist doing tiny, uninspiring projects or as a contributor to a fashion bi-annual no one cares about. Even while typing these words, the excitement slowly vanishes and probably  once I finish this sentence I will stop writing for at least a month.

But I won’t do that for one reason. I still feel this unidentified stimulant that makes me excited about what fashion can bring. If this blog somehow survives my ups-and-downs and I will continue to care, it may turn out that in the next two or three years I will go back to this post and laugh at my passion and naivety. Now, when it is still out there, I want to believe what awaits me will be amazing and constantly inspiring. That’ s what I wish for, for me and for all of fashion buffs-to-be and buffs-to-revive-again. 

live think make create

Live, think, make, create is like a sequence to follow. It’s probably not a breakthrough discovery of mine, but there’s a relevant difference between being aware and implementing something into your life.

I treat this word-chain as a mantra, almost. But I think it is always a part of us, when we feel this irresistible desire to create something on our own. We launch blogs, make tumblrs and write novels hidden in the deep bottom of the drawer. It is a constant and compelling temptation to get down to something new and last in it, make it our domain, become good at it.

I’ve never known what is my particular talent. I could do things well, but there has never been this one specific part in my life I would stick to since my teen years. But once I started exploring fashion I knew it will become this ‘missing piece’ one day. I’m writing it now, while I’m about to finish the styling course with two photo-shoots to prepare and bunch of conceptions I could recite off the top of my head. Never ever have I felt so creative and inventive, never ever have I felt that calm. Once you get a proper chance, living and thinking enables making and when you make it well, you simply create. So it’s worth to seek and try. It’s worth to try and seek further. 

on the right path

May I start with a cliché? Well, hope you don’t  mind me saying London Fashion Week was like my dream coming true. Getting a press pass and invitations with my name on was enough. But then, using them while entering Somerset nearly left me fainted.

This dramatic swap from my hometown steadiness to this big hectic world where you casually approach Laura Whitmore or Brix Smith to find out they’re wearing Bora Aksu or Isabel Marant feels like I’m living in one of these slushy comedies about teenage girls making their lives incredible. For me, LFW was big fashion and life lesson, no matter how exaggerated it sounds.

And it’s all because first day was a shock. It felt a little bit like being thrown into a place you want to belong, but you keep convincing yourself will never be a part of. But I quickly learnt no one knows me there, no one know where I come from. If I wear some obtrusive colors another day, I can be as noticeable as any other fashionista entering Somerset with  an iphone in hand and sunglasses on her head even though the sky is grey.

Yeah, some people were snobbish, but some inspiring. It’s your choice whether you look for those who can share your fashion taste or keep your head down because you don’t feel good enough to make a statement with your outfit. That’s right, two clichés in one post may be too much as for an aspiring writer, but it is genuine true to say while I felt confident, I was most stylish.  As simple as that. Wish I knew that earlier.

But LFW was not just about ‘what to wear’ dilemma. It was also my final fashion test. Can I handle writing, watching, feeling, being it. Well, to be honest, I was just living fashion. Now, I don’t need any more assertion what shall I be doing, how to make it work. I’m eventually on the right path. Let’s keep going then. 

style is

Style is… I think every single fashion-lover would  finish this sentence in his own way.  Style can be about clothes or attitudes. I talk to two 20-year-old freshmen about how they see it without thousands of pounds to spend on designer’s pieces and too much in love with second-hands to give up their sweatshirts  for cashmere sweaters.

Doma studies international relations and wants to stand out at her uni. In a positive way of course. She does not necessarily associate style with Audrey Hepburn or Twiggy. She defines it as consciousness and lifestyle to be complete. It must be integral. Thus when she enters the tube she can discern this person right away.

She dubs her style as ‘casual hipster’, striving for a balance between comfort and being noticeable.  Her fashion major rule is ‘three-colours outfit’,as she thinks any more patterns or hues will destroy it. Her apparel base are socks which let her complete the rest of it. Well, no surprise then her collection includes all types of them with fox, deer or tigers prints.

Kuba may seem a nerdy type with enthusiasm for his biology studies, but his wardrobe is far from the dull one. He associates style with composition and Lana del Rey’s 50’s  inspired image and music videos. He admits he has been through a tough ‘fashion time’ recently, as his personal style was in a state of considerable change. It may be due to his weight-loss and resignation from wearing tees with tacky prints. Kuba opts for street -like and comfy clothes. Vans and ‘Fruit of the Loom’  raglan sweatshirts are his religion.

Why is fashion important for them? Doma does not hesitate to say, no matter how harsh it may sound, it allows her to select people she is sticking up with in the belief she may find like-minded friends. On the other side, there is also the sweet pleasure of creating an outfit people will think mean she’s living a cool life, despite it may be really badly screwed. It is just satisfying.  And what about Kuba? He just wants people to see him. They may like or hate the way he dresses but it is just about making people aware how much fun fashion can be. Especially at uni, where the majority of style-unaware students keeps going for winter polar hoodies and trekking shoes.

Doma wants her style to evolve into more girly with investing in purple colour garments, chiffon skirt and dyeing pale-pink highlights. Kuba claims he will be on the quest of more skate style as a fullcap is on the top of his must-have list. But no matter how it changes, the way they define style shouldn’t change. At least for now, when all they want is to have fun. With clothes and with life.

                                                                                                                                                                                        

new york/london/milan/paris

Fashion week season about to begin with New York on the top of the list. It is tough to predict trends and that is why we should leave it to people who perfectly grasped fashion history and craft. We’re just an audience to judge, bearing our influence and applauding.

 What Autumn/Winter 2013 will be like? I cannot envisage but can wish. So I want sheepskin jackets and lots of leather. Leather gloves and jackets, leather bags and vests. No more military motives.

 Then I want full-length coats with wide collars and belts complemented with silk scarves. They will be loose and huge and cosy. So nicely looking with wedges and boots. All black and dark brown.

Okay, I agree, there will also be a bit of colour. Cashmere sweaters in white, burgundy and nude. That’s the only concession I make.

The edgy element of my perfect AW 2013 season forecast will be a hat. Classy and simple, black with a huge brim, worn by long-haired models with a plait underneath.

I wish I could make this collection on my own, show it to the world. But all I can do now is follow the upcoming fashion weeks and see how many of my wishes come true. 

bloggers

I will never fully grasp the phenomenon of fashion bloggers. I know they’re cool and, most importantly, their clothes are cool but what’s the deal of making some photos of oneself wearing half of his wardrobe at the same time?

Well, it is quite nice they show us their fashion world. Fashion needs to be shared, in fact. This is what lets it develop and change – a complete medley of ideas. But what amazes me is what happens once the blogger gains popularity, including stacks of brand new samples of clothing , free entries to most desirable fashion events and millions of instagram followers(well, that is not a real perk, but I just had to mention it).

I think my question here is so closely related to the one I formulated while writing about Alexa Chung. Where these people got with their ideas? Were they enough creative and innovative?  Why fashion world so eagerly greets people without any merits really?

I think it has changed now a lot. Not so long ago you had to bring something, love it, crave for it and then, after struggle and hard work, make it. Sometimes, I just wonder how much of real fashion there is left in this mass-culture dominated world. Hopefully, it has not completely changed yet. I still my name to make  in the fashion world. And not as a blogger, please.

barcelona

Hi dear,

I just do not know how long can I keep waiting for you. Is it this holiday or the next one? Uncertainity is what I hate most.

Do not know really what to start with. Shall I just say I’d love to stroll down Barri Gotic with shops and bakeries and have some tapas. Then I will go to take some rides at Tibidabo. No matter how many times I have been there, I just can’t give up on amusement parks. Especially when I am on the tallest ride with the quite amazing view of all you’ve got best. Pure epic.

It is winter time in London. It is cold. People are like pushing and shoving in the tube and shops and bars in their down jackets . You are not like that at all. You just keep waiting with no pressure. And you’re sunny.

You know what? I want to take boat ride along the coast like the last time. Just want to have messed up hair and shorts and a tee. No tea. I drink tea all the time here and I give up. 

But the thing is I do not know when I will be back. But remember you’re my top one holiday destination. Well, top destination in general. Hope you will keep waiting for me.

Cheers,

X

london people boredom people

Walking down the London street is like sitting in the first row of the catwalk show. No surprise the city of seven million people is diverse/exciting/creative in terms of style. But despite it all it seems quite old-fashioned and tedious for me.

Of course if you take a walk to Camden Market or Brick Lane it is likely to spot these individualities with hair dyed to salmon pink and turquoise highlights. Of course if you get closer to Central St Martin’s campus there will be plenty of stylish students carrying leather bags filled with their cool projects. But to understand why I dare to say ‘Hi London, you’re fashion is boring’, just get on the northern line tube at 9 am and mind the gap.

I think who accounts for that are ‘City’ people, tired of climbing up the stairs to the 20^th floor of their offices instead of taking the elevator cause they are on a diet. And what I observe all these ladies in thirties and gents in their forties do is not merely overlooking the ‘what is in fashion now’ aspect, but opting for being old-fashioned. Wide-legged black pants, square heeled pumps and grey, worn-out suits are on the daily basis. Then come faded scarves, awful gloves and well-worn bags in awful hues of browns, including cafe latte.

It is easy to generalize and I’m probably doing that while jotting all these complaints down, but this is what I see every morning and evening. There are taste, opinions, views, I know, my parent repeated it to me like mantra not to judge. But it’s hard when you come to London with some precise fashion expectations. Not everyone have to care about this superficial aspect of life which style can be perceived to be. For me, it’s too relevant to dismiss. 

i love/hate you

A few years ago I would describe her as an icon, it-girl, role-model. I would sigh at her outfits with no relief, fantasizing about somehow robbing her wardrobe.  Then I may open my drawers and do the tidying-up procedure so as to tell my mum I have nothing to wear as I have changed my style. My style would be a copy of Alexa Chung’s.

I really used to look up to her in terms of fashion. I still do sometimes. She has this edgy, tomboyish look. Timid outside, bitchy inside. This is a motto she probably and I’d love it to be my creed. Not because I am her fan, not anymore. But because I can identify with it.

Why I started to dislike Alexa Chung? Well, maybe it is too strong to say ‘dislike’, but at least lost interest in her person. It was when I was caught up with her career. She is pretty, thin and has cool clothes. She did as a TV presenter. Then, it seems, in a second, out of the blue, became an it-girl with a bag named after her and Alex Turner holding her hand. I got preoccupied when I’ve noticed there was no vision behind it. No particular struggle to promote her one-off  fashion idea or design. She just came mixing up Topshop with Chanel  and that’s it.

Maybe there is envy somewhere deep inside me, but I hope there’s not. It is just that I always imagined every time new fashion celebrity is born it is due to something. They are designers, editors, stylists, artists. Alexa got it without any special talent really. Not I am not jealous. It’s some sort of disappointment. Anyway, she’s coolly dressed and has lives cool lifestyle with cool friends. Fair or not, fashion remains open for people with unique ideas. Let’s hope there is space for lots of them.

FFF

I observe my friends on their quest of fashion. No one feels secure. No one feel satisfied. Everyday fashion dilemmas for human-beings are not an easy thing.

What the majority of people has is a natural instinct of not standing out and adapting. Either in behavior and look. So when it’s high time to decide what to wear the least original outfit is the winner. Fashion offers being unique and people resign from it to avoid extra attention although there is nothing more rewarding that walking down the street in a pair of obtrusive pants and people eyeing you up and down.

Where does insecurity come from? It is not only fear of opinion. It is fear of the fashion world. It seems a privilege due to Vogue’s superficial exclusiveness and photos from fashion parties where designers have fun with their favourite models. This society/sphere seems so inaccessible it may put people off just like my friends and I used to think. One cannot belong without any aspirations, clearly outlined sources of inspiration and any designer's piece.

I would say FFF. Fashion Fear & Fantasy. That is how people like me perceive it. This is why they are hesitant to admit they love it, this why they are promne to choose their H&M grey sweatshirt instead of  transparent dress with a wolf print. Can keep hoping it will change for others, as it keeps changing for me. FFF. Fashion is For Fun. Always.

say hi to 2013

It is New Year now. Hello 2013. But instead of making any promises to be better, smarter or cooler , I have my fashion plans.

I expect this year to be full of ideas. More second-hand and more re-making. More Beyond Retro and Oxfams in London , more thrift stores in Gdansk. It also means learning to sew with my grandmother in the summer break and handling the sewing machine. Can’t wait.

I want a trip to Berlin eventually this summer. I miss it, all its shops and styles that mix up everything that is good about west and east.

What else then? Some more internships instead of just fashion writing, get to attend London Fashion Week and see all fashion exhibitions at Victoria & Albert museum, please.

In terms of style, conscious fashion choices. No getting overexcited about new trends and pestering my mum to pay for spontaneous ideas which turn out to be a fashion blunder. It means less frequent visits in Urban Outfitters, but let it be my sacrifice.

Well, time for the final wish. I want to be consistent with the style I worked for. I do not want other amazingly dressed people to make me tremble that I have no idea what fashion really is.  I want to be convinced to what I wear is nice and works for me. Fashion is about diversity and individual approach.

This may seem superficial I treat fashion as a subject of my New Year’s promises. But it’s fun to do something different than people who keep saying  their diet starts with the 1^st of January. Let’s hope fashion will be great this year.