12/24/2016

paris makes it beautiful to be a common person


I often wonder what criteria we use when choosing a place to stay. Sometimes, we never leave our hometowns because all we ever wanted from life is already there. Sometimes, we keep endlessly searching for a better spot on the map. It takes a while to define.

Personally, I want to be in a place where it feels exceptionally beautiful to be an ordinary human being. One with work, friends, a small apartment and some savings for small luxuries. Not too much of an obligation to always come to expectations, to ceaselessly represent someone better, something different. Paris made me such a promise.

I sensed excitement for simple pleasures  the city elevated  to completely new heights, whenever I sat in a cafe, a bistro or strolled its streets. It spurred an air of mystery around my actions and decisions. Feeling like I can suddenly change my mind, shed a tear, be emotional. It justified all the irrationality, the bizarre, praised the unexpected. A city of constant change dictated by your heart.

I forgot all high ambitions, worries, doubts. Paris made me live in the current moment, as it exuded beauty everywhere you turn - from the landscapes to the way people perform their everyday duties. It is a city that makes you observe, opens up your eyes for things around. No matter the level of empathy you can reach, Paris is a place of curiosity.

Eventually, I think about the passing time. I always feel it’s not worth to decide upon one place in life, as entering new cities is so formative. You can discover things about yourself you’d never discover otherwise. Suddenly, I realise I am quite wrong. As much as we are nomads, even in the middle of a long way, we always seek a shelter to spend a safe night.

Life seems like that and Paris was my shelter.

12/09/2016

emotion is the best teacher


The feelings once tasted stay there for life.

The complexity of reality can occur in many aspects. The landscapes you see, the people you meet, the food you taste. It has so many layers, we want to remember them all, yet it's so easy forget, as the incentives multiply.

The moment you experience love, it’s hard to live without it. When you understand longing, you find it beautiful to have things to miss. All times epic will endlessly remind you of the ultimate joy one can feel and the complementing excitement. The emotion has capability to haunt us, wake us in the middle of the night, make us cross the boundaries. It is a power driving our lives and as much as I know I will only get to know its small particle, I find an emotion the most comprehensive mean to explore it. Who’s a better guide than a heart, who’s more true to you than your intuition?

One of the most beautiful things about emotions is that they come in doses. Better times after hard times. Regret after love. Solitude after company. Emotions, in all their chaos and disarray, reflect the ultimate balance of life and the inevitability of its stages.

Sometimes I wonder, how much I can rely on the language of heart. It’s full of flaws and grammatical errors,  it can make no sense at all. Yet, when I realise it’s probably the most genuine way to learn life, it’s the only language I want to read.

12/01/2016

on adulthood


A lot of things have been said and written on stepping into an adult life. Marked by turning 18, graduating or becoming financially independent, it appears as a sudden disillusion that life cannot be everything that we want. A certain switch inside our head that is forced to get realistic and make specific plans. A realisation that what our parents have been repeating all these years might be actually right. A huge compromise to swallow.

Our generation seems scared of that moment so badly, it might be worth trying to redefine it - make it feel approachable, more like a venture, rather than a one-way life shift, a river of no return. Starting with a flattering thought, one can view it as an act of courage. A moment where we pull ourselves together with an effort, yet not to meet another long list of expectations, rather, to eventually recognise own dreams. Adulthood is about making those decisions we feel capable of making, as we pass a certain level of life experience that allows to be bolder. It is also a gate to greater freedom. Freedom of ideas we can stand for and support. A chance to talk about the world with the words we were always longing to use, they just start coming our way. A liberty to consciously admit we have no opinion on certain things, because adulthood is about being smart enough to realise how little do we know.

A final end to procrastination and doubt, a jump into self-satisfaction and ease, as we take the life into our hands. No matter success or the failure, those two terms are on the opposite ends and we will always waver in between. But how much better to sway in the wind spurred by our own actions instead of being constantly dependent on the external, feeling deep remorse we never took the challenge ? At the end of that tunnel, there will always be regret.

Adulthood as balance of things silly and serious, when we can justify moments of weakness by regular effort the adult life requires. We do not need to loose our youthful spirit or stop dreaming, we can just find a midpoint to make our life as constructive, as much as it will be adventurous.

Finally, adulthood means to find home. Metaphorically, because home might be a specific place on the map or the whole world for those endlessly wandering. It is a moment when we come to realise we know ourselves good enough to decide where we will feel and live well. We are ready to define our life requirements - let it be having a fair trade coffee shop around the corner of your apartment or a bunch of quiet parks to stroll in the city you settle in. It's a time when one can focus on bigger ideas, as irrational fears are pushed aside. It's swimming into the deep waters to see where they can take us. We should believe they carry us to the land where we discover our own greatness.